dec 26 2012

feeling relieved. big screech winding down. a nu yir in 6 days.counting 3 t op resolutions.

ordinariness

s  to r
sensitivity to reward

the sugar thing

sneezin

sneezin and snifflin today.
rumi:  "once u conqueor your selfish self,
all ur darkness will change to Light"

above would b fine,..
 except
 trying to live WITH my selfish self;
 first FIND my self-[-no mind if sellfish.

shell-fish,.. or other than]
--is all going 2  the same cardboard box
]--so not believe god judges

 his kids..luvs us all.
unconditionally.
thas what makes sense to me.

dec 12-12 -12 wed day after maids fave

d\phone dog las nite
talkin about sore tooth
41 yo gf
mp3
mp3
mp3
u don kno me


my charity
my charity
my charity
.

wh else.
senme molly pic.

my kids.
luc net and molly
thas it


also d2y"::ILUv my life.
m healthy
m rich.

12-4-12 7 17 am memory check

tue
last nites
avi disc greeeen

behavior
getting quiet
suffering   animals

doing what we can do
myrnas fancy condo
 and boat storm- beached

lu ann solar panels
sue madden  excision
families loves how they may/can

12 3 12 min //avi 2 y:force torch

thinking :
hearing avi's words,
--2 y:                           
"I force myself--

when he means:
' get to meditation class
even when u donwanna.'
combined with

mendoza's  brainscan..
.. seems lika
buncha forcing ,..
w/o meditation class.

weighing whether
 to spin klinger's bk club
 about this poor me
 aspect of aricept.

12-3-12 mon www.

scheme of www
write w/o worry
m ok today;
  plan 4 future

learn lessons
 from past.
when avi says
 force yerself

 to medit class
thas for him,
 not nec me.

mad at dog again

mad at dog
 again
even tho i know\
 is self anger.


yes didnt
 do the m/f/t thingy
of
o
is suchness.

hello suchness.
tonglen t aking and sending
 opal.
mad at dog 12-12-12- feeling 2nd best tretment.

mad at dog

again 

 didnt do tonglen

again


must lurve this rut

sensitivity lacking y 2 dog 11 29 12

praying for openness
hearing
 hashems guidance

protection
all beings
 from evil spirits

holiday 11 29 12 th

resort companion,
resembling mendoza-size
demeanor: still.

subdued. carried the hotel key
 o i thought,
nice helper

i say:  home-bound,
 im ready to go,
missing nest.

seeing
 the hot tub
in our room-

pack.
depart.
not looking back.

sizzle 11-29-12 th

dream of letters

on blk background like

 bdhsts depression bk:

recall  "SIZZLE"  after tattling

 2 mendoza about marin shrink

 straying husband s tawdry affair...

atonement for my own

 maru dance.

the relief of mendoza telling me m not depressed

really think
 shes just
putting it off--
[could that be?}

[dep meds]
 so can seem
 like my idea.
when is really hers.

in the meantime
seeing my scan
end of jan
 fri jan 25.

always with the dates
yee repeating
 like hal.
his golf game.

nov 25 '12-big deal?

evidently the filiping mendoza IS a big gig
big deal.
bringing to consciousness.
unexamined conflicts.

from 100ray.
now am
ready for tomorrow, 
   [ mon26th]--breathe

 Mendoza of the rochester
maria m and tic nhat hanh
bones to ashes
this moment only.

we gather together day after tx '12

kids last nite
 to blk fri
shopping late.
 y infuses $70. to jt for
 2 kids.
them 2 mall

springbrook group

birdsound zendo
nh branch
daidp loori

 john roshi
dead muse
roc n roll

go go's bud
cd ph pal
i finally belonged

viscelarity among tzadiks

today's first image;

red blossoms
 all over
TOPPING AND MIDDLINGS
> magnificently circular
 a comletion of petals
LIKE PETAL PLAYGROUNDINGSSs

wisdom of today

breath connected outer to inner

peacefulness
wawareness brightens

senses blossoming

4 11 like aprjil

4 11 am
bjird song
whos in nj


already so;me sho;ulder burn
lllast tjiel nica  tonite 

sno plow noise

in the distance
sounds of plow

old ladies
calling supervisor

of telemarketer
leave my ringer off

unless I DECIDE to
hear boinging.

calling avij

want ear problem and sore lungs to
just
rest themselves.

brussels and soy.
sliced ham thin.

wild rice.
tomorow banana.

celebrate good numbers.

bank o rama

save a thon w/no cigspenging